by Doug Van Hooser
Lighten up! You’re not a funeral director. Don’t be
as serious as a doctor visit, a 4 A M phone call.
Quit writing poems that resonate like an obit. Try
to pull a rabbit out of a hat and smile when it’s a ferret.
Be a public-address announcer, let everyone in
on the joke you tell the barista. Get yourself some chalk
and teach yourself hopscotch and scotch the notion
tomorrow is soon enough. Quote the Georges: Carlin,
Costanza, and George of the Jungle. Attempt to hum
like a hummingbird and wail like a whale. Only put
your neck on the line if you are a giraffe. When you
meet the right girl, purr like a kitten so she gets in touch
with how you feel. Turn over rocks so the opposite side
feels the sun. Never fudge it when you make fudge.
Only draw a line in the sand in a sandstorm. If you quack
like a duck, well heck, act like a duck. Spread the conspiracy
theory that you are the smartest guy in the room. Remember,
eternity only lasts as long as you let it. And don’t kid
yourself, even in the back row you stand out like a black eye.
By any or all means, get or borrow a life. Laugh!