by Bart Edelman
A monogrammed humidor.
A cocker spaniel puppy named Mike.
A box of chocolate-covered proverbs.
An autographed Louisville Slugger.
A bottle of Chartreuse Green V.E.P.
A holiday meeting with King Tut.
A ten-gallon hat to hide under.
A devil-may-care attitude.
A candy-apple-red Corvette.
A wife who calls his bluff.
A son who stays at home.
The daughter he never had.