by Ryan D. Moore
People tell me I have a God complex. It’s not complex. I am God.
I, in this form, was born in 1982. However, I have always existed, in one form or another.
For awhile I was Haley’s Comet. Zooming across the solar system, a non stop thrill ride! But my need for speed soon wore thin. It was also terribly hard to fall asleep at such speeds.
Then, for a short while I was a fly. But I was crushed under a deer hoof. Next, I was a fly again. But I got swatted. I tried one more time to be a fly, but I flew into a light. It was not pleasant. I should have never invented electricity. I lost interest in being a fly.
For a few millennia I was a volcano. But just had horrible heartburn the whole time. Tums were not yet an option.
I was a raptor, turtle, Lake Superior, a star not named by humans, a spec of dust in the Andromeda galaxy, a bowl of chicken noodle soup and now, finally, a human.
Being human has by far been the worst experience of my life. Sometimes, my nipples chafe. My knees always hurt. I got salmonella one time. I had to wait five hours for the cable man last month. Coffee is far too expensive. It’s even worse than being a fly, and that’s why I have decided to kill myself and try my luck as a bowl of chicken noodle soup again.
Take care of the kids, Mary. Maybe I’ll see you again, someday, at Soup and Salad Works.
Category: Fiction, SNHU Creative Writing, SNHU online creative writing