Dear Author: Dear Editor


By Susan Dale

Stacy Dale
Dear Editor of Rambunctious Literary: Unnamed: Unheralded: Unknown:
I enjoyed reading the stories on your webpage: well, some of them, anyhow. But by the fourth story of sexual encounters after underage drinking … one at the beach, one in an empty bus, and two in cars, I was exhausted. The story of a girl with a fear of anyone that showed up at her door, was, well, interesting. I send you a creative non-fiction that is enacted in Vietnam in the ’60s. I thank you for your time and consideration … Stacy Dale

Rambunctious Literary
Dear Stacy, Thanks for your input concerning our January issue of Rambunctious Literary. You must remember, however, that I am the editor, and I pick the stories that are published. One of the sexual-encounter stories that you mentioned, Last Date, won the much coveted Donkey Cart Award.
As to our keeping our names under-wraps: this is intentional. Renowned for both our integrity, and outstanding literature, we want no influences.
We are interested in your non-fiction piece, Nearing the End. We will be happy to publish it if you will change the last line. It is too much like a walking off in the sunset western. Regards, Editors

Miller and Donahue Literary Agency
Dear Author,
Though I read your submission and sample chapters with interest, I am sorry to inform you that we will not be adding your manuscript to our list. Please excuse the form letter. Due to the many submissions we receive, we cannot offer any input. We wish you well in your publishing endeavors … Jan Donahue of Miller, Donahue Literary

Stacy Dale
Hi Edward, how is it going across the wide ocean? I had every intention of sending you a short story that I wrote when I was in Cuba: romantic entanglements, samba dancers in the restaurants, parades on street corners, and a furious battle over a bill not paid. However, my new computer program won’t let me pull up your webpage: viruses, it seems. Can you do anything about it? Did your agent place your new manuscript? Are you finally settled in? Stacy Dale

Edward Parker
Dear Stacy, I moved, but my computer server in this isolated village is fraught with problems. Viruses, being but one of them. I am trying to get a new server, but it’s close to impossible in this village hole. My literary agent is about worthless; he’s peddled my manuscript to all of two agencies. Both agencies turned it down, and the other agencies in London are hanging on by a thread. Unless today’s stories contain at least two shape shifter murderers and five fights to the death, they won’t be considered. Yes, and yesterday when I was on a ladder replacing a light fixture in my cracked ceiling, I was jolted by a shock, and fell off. I broke my wrist. Regards, Edward

Friendly Family Journal
Dear Stacy, Imagine my surprise when I submitted a flash fiction to Mariners Journal and saw your poems. I wondered what happened when you stopped sending us poetry. I was afraid something terrible. I am glad you are well, and yet involved in poetry. I am always busy and sorting through the many wonderful submissions I receive. Warm Regards … Janet Long

Stacy Dale
Dear Janet, how nice to hear from you. Yes, it has been a while since I submitted to Friendly Family. And here is the reason. These days I have been writing reflective poetry. And what is there to reflect upon but grim realities: Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre, Middle East spring slaughters, Stubenville rape, Military rapes, Colorado wildfires arriving six months ahead of schedule, 93 temperatures in Arizona. Well, you get the picture. It’s hard for me to be positive. Nonetheless, I wish you the best, and always think of you with affection … Stacy Dale

The Jenny Jasper Literary Agency
Dear Author,
Though I read your submission and sample chapters with interest, I am sorry to inform you that we will not be adding your manuscript to our list. Please excuse the form letter. Due to the many submissions we receive, we cannot offer you any input.
We do, however, wish you well in your publishing endeavors … I do include our list of this year’s published books: a splendid assortment of suggestions for your summer beach reading. Regards, Jenny Jasper of Jasper Literary Agency

Stacy Dale
Dear Adam, I pulled up your webpage to see that you are no longer accepting fantasy or science fiction submissions: only poetry: romantic poetry, at that. That puts a crimp in my style. There are many poetry webpages, but few that publish fantasy. What’s up with that? I hope you and your new bride are doing fine, Warm Regards and Confusion, Stacy Dale

Adam Caporini
Dear Stacy, I see you have been made aware of the most recent changes to our webpage. It is time for a change, I think. Georgia, my bride, and co-editor, feels that we have run the gamut on fantasy. Georgia, being romantic, is also into poetry: romantic poetry since tying the knot. I hope you have some poems to send us, but often fantasy writers do not. Your friend in Baltimore, Adam Cap

City By The Bay Literary
Dear Stacy, thanks for informing us that the poems you sent us: Mirrors Reflected, have been scheduled for publication in Poetry Renegade. If you give us permission, however, we will publish them anyhow in September. Nobody reads poetry anymore, and if they do, they forget ’em quick. Most are truly forgettable. Joey Manconi, Editor-at-large.

Smith, Jones and Corona Literary Agency
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission to SJ&C Agency. I thank you for your patience in waiting for our reply. Though we receive many wonderful submissions, we take on only a few writers. As you know, publishing is highly selective. We wish you the best in your publishing career. Meg Jones of SJ&Corona

Category: Fiction, SNHU Creative Writing, SNHU online creative writing