A Colorful Allegory
Explorer Louis Pantone found escape in his dreams wherein all living beings were of one color and pigmentation hatred did not exist. Unfortunately, his conscious world was very different from his dream world––mired as it was in rampant discrimination and hostility between contrasting skin tones. His particular hue––Greentones––was the largest, comprising 37 percent of the world’s population. Next was the Taupetones at 16 percent. The Fuchsiatones, Pucetones, Lavendertones, Graytones, Bluetones, Indigotones, Limetones, Orangetones, Yellowtones, and Purpletones followed in that order. Nobody wished to be among the latter four tints, which were classified as Lowtones. Then Pantone and his team discovered cognitive beings in a jungle of an uncharted archipelago. They were of a hitherto unknown shade. While some embraced them, most did not––considering them unsightly outliers. Consequently, the presence of the Blacktones resulted in the elevation of the Limetones, allowing that class of hues to more fully enjoy the benefits afforded the dominant colors.
There Was This Crazy Street Lady the Other Day
What she sees is a large fox chasing a cottontail rabbit up the side of a mustard jar that is so tall that its top is shrouded in green clouds. She figures if she yells at the fox she might save the poor little rabbit. So she shrieks, “Don’t hurt that fucking bunny!” and it succeeds in distracting the hungry predator, which then turns and fixes its wild eyes on her and charges. The crazy street lady collapses to the pavement in horror but no one cares to save her. There is only revulsion on the faces of the passersby.